Sunday, January 30, 2011

A female's perspective?

The video that I am sharing today is part of a speech by motivational speaker Colette Carlson.
As we have mentioned in class, Gray’s book and the video shown in class about brains we all insights on miscommunication between genders by men. Would the sentiments be the same when expressed by a female?



When talking about the way each gender uses language, Carlson says that “neither style is better, they are just different”. She then goes on to say “not all women speak the same and not all man speak the same”

In many of our class discussions, we tend to criticise the article we have read because of the extreme stereotypes used to represent any situation. We will propose that each individual is different and that their style varies from individual to individual - even within the same gender. According to psychologist Eleanor E. Maccoby, as children grow, they become increasingly divided by their gender. However, different cliques of a dominant gender usually have similar traits within their clique which might differ from that of others. For instance, a male clique may belong to the jock category while another male group may belong in the studious category. Hence, while both groups of friends are mostly boys, they do not have the exact same traits, likes and dislikes. In the same way, even though men and women are expected to speak in a certain way, there will be variations. It is crucial to understand the possibility of differences when tackling a topic which discusses many stereotypes.

Carlson also talks about how women use language to express feelings while men just to get information. She still, like previous male writers, suggests that women tend to beat about the bush and for our own benefit; women should learn to speak in a way that focuses on conveying information. Unlike other writers so far, she does not force the idea that women must change their way of talking but instead suggests that women should be able to speak to the point in required situations. Instead of implying “male-language” she implies that women should speak more formally.            

I find that what she says is pretty much similar to what we have been reading from male authors. What I find different was her style and approach. She does cover personal situations such as asking your husband to do a chore but, to me, her main focus is for women to be able to communicate effectively in a professional setting. This sets her apart from other writers who give advice to deal with personal issues within a household. Personally I find Carlson’s approach more appealing because she does not suggest that people change their style but that we should learn appropriate language depending on the situation. 

2 comments:

  1. Hi Aminah!

    I find the video very unique, in that Carlson gives a different take on the same topics and questions that Gray talks about. I like how she puts across the differences in language usage by saying that women love the details, they love talking about relationships and people while men talk about sports, business and politics. I think they are good every day examples of how women use language to express feelings while men do so to get information. Although by listing them out it seems as if men talk about more important things compared to women.

    I also like how she does not put blame on either parties – she does not blame the woman for not putting across her point clearly while she also does not blame the man for not understanding. Instead, she focuses on the need for clear communication in different situations while speaking to the other gender.

    I also like how she talks about woman needing to learn how to toot our horns when possible. She seems to be touching on the tip of the iceberg on the issue of power, in which she claims that men display their statuses more readily than women. However, when men toot their horns, it is not considered boasting but it is an entirely different story for women. This is perhaps due to men holding higher positions in the company in the first place and also due to the socialization process, where boys might be brought up to be more competitive.

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  2. interesting points. I like the point that males and females are not monolithic groups but consist of various style-types (cliques) that may share certain characteristics. It makes discussing generalities more acceptable in a way

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