Some things men just don't say.

This video lists the top 10 things you will probably never hear a man say. This video is similar to the magazine articles that listed phrases that should not be said by one gender in the presence of the opposite gender.

So far, I haven’t heard guys saying those phrases naturally with the exception to number 5: “We haven’t been to the mall in ages, let’s go!” However, the only times I have heard this phrase is among friends then have not met up for really long; especially if the guy needs to buy a specific item. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be a shopping mall but another location like a restaurant or the beach. While these phrases are rarely heard, I began to wonder if they were ever felt. Do guys have the urge to go somewhere nice to dress up or occasionally have to do a chore instead of meeting up but never openly admit it because it’s just not masculine enough? Or is it that men genuinely don’t have such thoughts hence, there is never the need to mention those phrases in the first place.

My natural instinct tells me that it’s the former reason. As the recent article discussed in class mentions, there are just some things that men do not do because they are “out of practice”. I feel that the issues raised in this video are not exclusive for females. Why we do not expect men to say such phrases is because in most societies, men are presumed to be less expressive than women. With the increase trend of the sensitive new age man, will more men begin to express their thoughts even though it goes against the normative masculine speech?

Hey friends,

This is the link for the article I shared in class which is based on secondary research. :)

Stereotypes.

This video interview on children clearly shows that they have not only learnt gender roles and stereotypes but are committed to these stereotypes. The video mentions that by age four or five, children begin to show rigid standards of what they believe is appropriate male and female behaviour.

One of the responses that I found interesting was that of the second child interviewed. He said he would never be a girl and when asked what boys are like he replies with “I don’t know”. In the next question “Are (boys) different from girls”, he agrees. This meant that even though children are not able to give a definition of what “boys” are, they are certain that boys and girls are different.

In the second part of the video, the children give stereotypical answers when asked to identify the doll which is more likely to carry out a certain activity. Such gender stereotypes are being instilled in us from such a young age. Children as young as 4 years old are aware that girls put on “stuff” and that boys are “stronger than girls sometimes”. I feel that the children in the video assign themselves gender roles based on what is perceived as acceptable behaviour.

The video does not highlight any difference in communication styles of males and females. This could be because at such a young age, communication styles are presumably similar across genders. I feel that as the children grow and act according to what the stereotypes allow them to, they tend to form communication styles that are different for males and females. 

A female's perspective?

The video that I am sharing today is part of a speech by motivational speaker Colette Carlson.

As we have mentioned in class, Gray’s book and the video shown in class about brains we all insights on miscommunication between genders by men. Would the sentiments be the same when expressed by a female?

When talking about the way each gender uses language, Carlson says that “neither style is better, they are just different”. She then goes on to say “not all women speak the same and not all man speak the same”

In many of our class discussions, we tend to criticise the article we have read because of the extreme stereotypes used to represent any situation. We will propose that each individual is different and that their style varies from individual to individual - even within the same gender. According to psychologist Eleanor E. Maccoby, as children grow, they become increasingly divided by their gender. However, different cliques of a dominant gender usually have similar traits within their clique which might differ from that of others. For instance, a male clique may belong to the jock category while another male group may belong in the studious category. Hence, while both groups of friends are mostly boys, they do not have the exact same traits, likes and dislikes. In the same way, even though men and women are expected to speak in a certain way, there will be variations. It is crucial to understand the possibility of differences when tackling a topic which discusses many stereotypes.

Carlson also talks about how women use language to express feelings while men just to get information. She still, like previous male writers, suggests that women tend to beat about the bush and for our own benefit; women should learn to speak in a way that focuses on conveying information. Unlike other writers so far, she does not force the idea that women must change their way of talking but instead suggests that women should be able to speak to the point in required situations. Instead of implying “male-language” she implies that women should speak more formally.            

I find that what she says is pretty much similar to what we have been reading from male authors. What I find different was her style and approach. She does cover personal situations such as asking your husband to do a chore but, to me, her main focus is for women to be able to communicate effectively in a professional setting. This sets her apart from other writers who give advice to deal with personal issues within a household. Personally I find Carlson’s approach more appealing because she does not suggest that people change their style but that we should learn appropriate language depending on the situation. 

Gender Roles

Hello!

I came across this video which I thought was amusing. It is a “summary” of many stereotypes. What amused me was how even though these are stereotypes and hence they are exaggerations, I could relate each stereotype shown. Of course I am only speaking from a Venus point of view. J. I also enjoyed the simplicity of this cartoon and how even without elaborate designs, it is still able to bring across an idea clearly.

General stereotypes in the video were that the cartoon representing the female was pink and that representing the male was blue. Such stereotypes are seen in our everyday lives where the gent’s has a blue sign and the lady’s has a pink sign. The female cartoon also has a high pitch voice that is rather annoying while the male cartoon has a deep, slow voice that is barely heard. This assists the viewer to make a natural link between the cartoon character and the stereotype raised.

I would like to discuss some of these stereotypes raised in the video below. Feel free to comment if you agree or disagree or just have something to add on!

  

1.    Speaking

Watching this part brings me back to our reading assignment for last week by Lakoff. She mentions how women tend to be more descriptive and would discuss things like colours which are deemed as unimportant to men. The cartoon implies this by using straight lines for men but curly lines of different colours for women. Women tend to talk about everything jumping from one topic to another. Personally, I find myself in this situation many times. “Bonding sessions” with my girl-friends can last for hours as we talk about everything and anything under the sun. However, who I am talking to limits my ability to keep talking. For instance, holding a conversation with an acquaintance that is introverted may be challenging. Hence, I am only able to chit-chat about everything for hours with people that I am comfortable with.

           

2.    Talking (Discussion)

This part of the cartoon is slightly similar to the part on “speaking”. However, I have to disagree that in an all-female discussion everyone is talking at the same time. While this does occur occasionally, (especially if it is an argument), I do not find myself in this situation often. When I do, it is usually when different cliques of people are gathered together. Each clique can be talking about something different and conversations can get confusing.

3.    Handbag (smaller bag but more things)

Watching this part of the cartoon made me smile to myself because I tend to carry many things in my bag when all a need usually is my wallet, mobile phone and sometimes my umbrella. Yet, I must always have my water bottle, tissue, wet tissues (this one is a new additionJ), powder, lip balm/gloss and some other female necessities. What I found interesting in the video was how this was being portrayed. Not only did the “female bag” contain more items than the “male bag” but it was also relatively smaller. It still puzzles me why women tend to feel the need to stuff their not-so-big bag while men are able to bring along their necessities in anything that can hold them.

4.    The ideal partner

I feel this part of the cartoon holds a lot of truth to it. What I see is that despite the differences, men and women actually expect the same thing from each other. Regardless of gender, we want our other half to do the work for us, serve us and be there when we want them to.

General stereotypes in the video were that the cartoon representing the female was pink and that representing the male was blue. Such stereotypes are seen in our everyday lives where the gent’s has a blue sign and the lady’s has a pink sign. The female cartoon also has a high pitch voice that is rather annoying while the male cartoon has a deep, slow voice that is barely heard.  

Pilot

Hello! My name is Aminah Diab. You can call me Aminah. If that’s too long, feel free to call me Min. I’m a first year student in FASS with hopes of majoring in sociology. Although I will be turning 20 this year, I still like to believe that I am just turning eighteen, again.

People often remember me from my distinct curly hair! If you are wondering, yes it is natural. I am a friendly person so feel free to approach me. And say “Hi!” to me anytime. I like laughing, A LOT. I also enjoy playing games of any kind. I enjoy travelling and would love to travel to more places in the future.

What pushed me into taking this writing module is my interest in the relationship between genders. Gender stereotypes never fail to amaze me. I myself succumb to such stereotypes. For instance, I love looking at shoes. I like dresses and skirts. I like flowers, ribbons and the list goes on. Then there are some stereotypes I fail to meet. I am not very neat and I don’t really fancy teddy bears although I do find them cute. We all know that stereotypes are over-generalisations but yet, they are used to reflect characteristics of a certain group. Through this module, I hope to improve both my reading and writing skills while learning more about the differences (or maybe even similarities) or the 2 main genders.

One of the things I like to do when I am on the internet is to browse through Youtube videos. And I find these next two videos fit perfectly under the course title. Enjoy! 

FRIENDS: difference between men and women

(sorry, cant seem to be able to put the video here)

Anyways, I watched this video before watching the series and it really made me laugh. It really shows the difference in how women talk with each other as compared to how men talk to each other. Women are more detailed and tend to analyse every action as though each little action or gesture has a meaning. On the other hand, such details are insignificant to men. The character Ross obviously did not bother to explain "The kiss" and even his friends did not care much of details. 

This to me may be a contributing factor to miscommunication between men and women. Women tend to be able to go on and on about one thing where men have already lost interest in the topic. This brings me to the next clip I want to share. :)

Make sure you watch the whole 33 seconds!!

Another clip that tickles my funny bone every time I watch it. My question is, to all male species, is this REALLY true?